How I Really Feel About Ke$ha

Any day would be great.. Really.

So things haven't really turned up for me. It's just been the same crap, day in and day out, if not new crap coming up. I just need SOMETHING good to happen. I've just about lost faith that "something will come along". I'm giving up.

Just a Little Reality Check

The one person that I talk to every single day is 720 miles and one time zone away.
There are days when I don't leave my apartment, simply because I have nowhere to go.
There are days when I go shopping just so I can leave my apartment.
I have no decent job. I hate substitute teaching.
I have no health insurance.
Somedays I wonder how long it would take someone to figure it out if something happened to me.
It amazes me that people think they have the right to tell me that I have to stay here, that I can't leave everything I've known for 26 years. I have soooo much to stay here for. Yet, they don't spend 98% of the time with me, they don't live my life, and they don't sit in an empty apartment every single day.

Just some thoughts.

For Everything There Is A Season

Sometimes as I stop and look around me at my peers that I've grown up around in my life, I feel like I am so far behind. It seems as if everyone is married with 2.5 kids, living the American Dream. It's exactly what I want, but yet I've not quite made it there. Or, rather, I started it, and soon my "American Dream" was more of a nightmare. So, I learned to quit trying to make everyone else happy, and work more on making myself happy. People that I cared for as much as my own family have since turned against me. I suppose it's all part of life.

Anyway, it just feels like I'm behind the times when I compare my life with others, but then I realize - I could still be living in that nightmare with the 2.5 kids, pretending that my life is grand when in actuality, it was miserable. Instead, I have learned that my life is about making ME happy, taking care of ME, and my American Dream will happen exactly when God wants it to, and not a second before. Thank you, God, for walking beside me every step of the way in my 26 years. Thank you for being the one friend I could talk to and depend on when I couldn't even get out of the bed. Thank you for watching over me and taking care of me.

3 Days Every 2 Months And 245 Days Worth of Phone Calls

Every visit I get to spend with my love, the more and more I realize how much we fit together. This weekend was the first time I had seen him since before Christmas, and we honestly did a whole lot of nothing. We didn't once go out to a sit-down restaurant (which I didn't even think about it until he apologized for it on the way back to the airport). The most "date" thing we did was to go see Valentine's Day and get cupcakes from Gigi's. The weekend was spent mostly hanging out in my apartment in pajamas or running around town looking for some pants that he was wanting. We played with the Wii all weekend, and just spent quality time together. It felt good to have him here, just a few feet away from me being able to see him or touch him. He's had a rough time with work for a while, so the best part of this weekend for me was to see him relax. To see him smile, and laugh, and just have a good time made me the happiest girl in the world. He has become my best friend. For the past 8 months, he has been the one person in my life that I talk to every single day, my day isn't complete without hearing his voice. I thank God every day for putting him in my life. A friend of mine mentioned the other day what I've felt for a while now - I believe he could be the one.

V-Day: Overrated? Or Not?

As the dreaded day of hearts, chocolates, roses, and proclamations of love quickly approaches, I wonder if it really is overrated. Now, I'm trying to not say this as a girl who has been burned numerous times. I have an amazing boyfriend who I am very much in love with, and I think the world of him. Granted, he's not one to be all showy with flowers and random gifts (or at least that I'm aware 8 months into our relationship), so I don't expect anything for Valentine's Day. I've heard before that February 14th is a "Hallmark holiday" - a holiday fabricated to benefit the retail world with the purchase of all those things "Valentinesy". Honestly, I think it's sweet to devote a day to your love, but on the other hand, why just one day a year? And why a day that someone else has chosen? Those random acts that show your significant other how much you mean to them are appreciated on days other than February 14th. So here's my question: Is Valentine's Day really overrated? Or is it beneficial to our relationships?

Proud of my girl!

Okay, everyone stop what you are doing! Go straight to any of these!!!

Laney's Myspace
Laney's Blog
Laney's Youtube

This is my girl Laney, and she's working on making it big, which I have all the faith in the world that she can! She has an amazing voice and you MUST HEAR IT NOW! :)

Enjoy!